The Fast Lane

Some time last week. 12:30 am

Deuce: hey
Dizzy: hey loser
Deuce: wats up
Dizzy: nothin much jus chillin. wat u up to?
Deuce: chillin watchin a movie wit claire and whitney
Dizzy: aww! tell them i said hi
Deuce: claire is in the bathroom whitney said hi and *deuce* said he misses u
.............
Dizzy: ....... i miss u too
Deuce: =)

I got a hubby but......
I miss you too.

* = not his real name

Dear Dizzy,

I sincerely apologize for the lack of post-age. *Ish is gettin heavy up here @ school.
First & foremost congrats to the newest I-Sweets on the yard: Dramatix, Poison & Quiet Storm (their real sweetheart names, not just my personal nickname lol). So proud of you 3.
Secondly: the boy. So, too bad I've def been a rollercoaster ride wit this one. But first, I'd like to note that FROM THIS POINT ON, this young man's name will now be '9 Livez'. Lol I'm sure that's pretty self-explanatory. Anywayz, we actually hit a really bad spot this past weekend. It happened late Friday nite when I got off work. We was supposed to chill that nite and he actually came thru to the Roc wit his brothers while I was on duty. So, he knowz I'm done @ 3 but I decided to give it a little time....3:40 comes and I call, to which he told he'd call me rite back in 2 min. Okay - cool. Now, my impatient butt starts calling back around 4 but this time...to no answer. (Sound familiar?) Nor the 2nd, nor the 3rd, nor the 4th, 5th, 6th or 7th. Yes, I said 7th. Clearly, the luv was too drunk/high to answer his phone. Not an uncommon activity of his.
So by that time I was furious, mostly because we've had SO MANY talks about his stupid bad habits b4. So I proceed to leave him a lovely voicemail that went something like:

"I hope when you hear this you're not too f****d up to understand me. I've waited up for you for the last time. So wat you can do is delete my f***in number from your f***in phonebook cuz..I'm done with you [insert real name here]. Goodbye".

Kinda went in a little bit. But when I'm mad, I'm mad. And dude pissed me the f*** off that nite. I expected to get a few long text messages or a call/voicemail but 2 dayz had passed and nothing. So on Monday, - remember that key that came along with my necklace? 9 Livez MUST not want it anymore since he clearly had nothin to say for hisself. So, I finally hit him up and told him I was coming thru to get it back - that nite. So, me being the girly girl I am *superficially* got all dolled up since it was supposed to be the last time we saw each other like that and proceeded to drive over to his apt., along wit Keenya & Tay in the car (you know, just in case we had to stomp somebody out lol jk). The whole trip ended up being real anticlimactic. After wat seemed like hours of him staring at me, he finally gave it up. I briefly spoke bye as I walked out his building.

Later that nite, we ended up texting each other, becuz I honestly couldn't believe that he had nothin to say. Either he was truly an a**hole or he was jus thought my mind was fed up. Well, to wrap up this story, homeboy said he felt ridiculously ashamed and didnt say anything cuz he felt like he ultimately let me down, didn't know how I felt about him, but that he still cared about me and could only hope he still had a piece of my heart with or without my key. HOW SWEET - *blank stare*.

Sike nah, I admit he was genuine wit it...AFTER I HAD TO DRAG IT OUT OF HIM! And I admit I miss the boy. So needless, we made up last nite. Now, I'm still keeping my guard up...but if 9 Livez truly lives up to his name - then I'm kinda curious to see how this all really plays out.

P.S. The inspiration from my title had a double meaning: 1. Me & the boy of course. 2. While I was trying to move my laptop from my desk to my bed, it slipped - I tried to catch it and it ended up banging against the corner of my best postm resulting in this NASTY crack/splinter on the right side of my screen. :,-) Disaster.

Morning, luv's!

Well, pretty much afternoon now. Lol

Spring Break's going pretty good so far....no complaints. Prob should have my nose in a book rite now...BUT I'm not.

Um, the reason for the pic to the right was inspired by last nite w/ Q-Tip. Nothing major ~ we was jus out riding around for a lil bit cuz we needed to see each other (it's been bout a week) and I just wanted to be wit my boo. :-) Ended up sneaking me into his basement for a little while (YES, I KNOW ON SOME LITTLE KID *ISH, but hey - it was fun HAHA) But lately, esp. since I been home, for some reason I keep wanting to kiss him...like KISS him. Like make him wanna....yeah from my kisses. And jus enjoy ever Lmao. Idk how to explain but yeah. So, last nite I made sure to get wat I wanted.....well, not exactly. Cuz we both actually ended up wanting to.....YEAH. But we couldn't clearly. Kinda bad timing. But, nevertheless - fun nite w/ tha luv.

So, not sure if this applies to any of yall but, Happy St. Patrick's Day? I was just gonna be a bum today but I think I'm gonna re-nig and try my hand at Irish Potatoes. And by Irish Potatoes I mean these:

Last time I tasted one of these, I think I was in 7th grade. They're a candy made from cream cheese, coconut, sugar & cinnamon I believe (off the top of my head). Pics to come! (Thanx from boredom).

SB: Not gonna lie....I'm expecting my monthly and I'm starting to get more & more nervous everyday. Lord knows I'm one of the most impatient ppl on this earth so this is like the WORST TEST EVER!!!!! *Sigh* Plz pray for me.

D.Y.F.A.M ♥

Aight, I know I've been slacking on the updates this week but I'm right in the middle of my exam time. =(

I keep hearing mad stuff about this young man's album so I'll have to do a review of my own soon.

So, last nite I spent the nite over Q-Tip's spot. (Don't worry ~ we're straight lol). But we had a little convo last nite that I woke up thinking about.

Part of the reason he, like many other young men I'm finding, is hesitant to be in an "official" relationship and quickly fall in love is because of past relationships that ended up being horrible. Like, HORRIBLE. He like many other males, explained to me that dudez falling in love & getting their hearts broken is different than from gurls. When dudez fall ~ they fall hard. So naturally the end result when *ish goes sour is pretty much recipe-for-disaster.

But, no matter how many timez I hear this story, I can't stop thinking........ not every gurl out there is going to break your heart. And more importantly - I AM CERTAINLY NOT EVERY GURL, SO I AM NOT GOING TO BREAK YOUR HEART. SO JUST....LET IT......GO. I understand once is enough but it's def. not fair to make every new gurl in your life have to suffer and deal with glueing the pieces back together on our own cause of what some inconsiderate broad did before we came along. If you go through life with this big padlock on, you're robbing others of getting to feel the real you and in return, you're not nearly feeling what you could be to its fullest capacity. And if females bounce back faster cause we're supposedly "stronger" in that sense, why don't you just take a page out of our book luv...so that we could be in this together?.....

Idk, I know that all of these wordz are easier said than done....But don't you realize it's all the more harder if the 'doing' part of it never even starts?

Just my thoughts....

A.I.W.I.E. ♥

Yeah. I gotta admit it. This Valentine's Day was literally the best one I ever had. From start to finish (well, almost lol) it was sooooo cute! So, let's recap:

Spent the whole late morning/afternoon cleaning up the apt...

Finally got Q-Tip around 5. (of course) Then, we went in on the main course/ making dessert. He ended up dipping most of the strawberries since he tried to come at my skills. Couldn't snap a "finished product" pic so here's one of the few that were left (after us & the roomies got to em:

Cutiez.

Let's see what else....oh yeah in the middle of dinner (sorry couldn't snap any pics of the meal) I asked him what he got me for V-Day lol. And he responded 'huh? I thought we weren't getting each other anything'. So I say 'yeah but everybody knows that no really means yes to a gurl on V-Day'. So he shrugs and walks off to the room....a sec later he comes out & gives me these:

I know they're the typical gifts but you gotta understand my Valentine's Days freshman and sophomore years were not the greatest. And we only been talking for about a month.

So anyway, dinner was BANGIN'. I hooked up the Teriyaki Chicken (sauce from scratch, by the way) while he hit up the spanish rice & string beans. We threw down =)

We topped off the night with these: [my HIGHLY anticipated]

GODIVA CHOCOLATE MARTINI'S! Handmade by yours truly (Q-Tip helped mix). Looked pretty good if I do say so myself.

The bestie unfortunately couldn't make to partake with us :-( But I must say the martini was GOOD! Tastes just like chocolate milk with a little kick in it. If you're a chocolate-lova, I highly recommend them.

1/2 shots of Godiva liqueur

1 1/2 shots of Creme de Cacao

1/2 shot vodka

2 1/2 shots of Half & Half

The rest of the night was jus spent watching a Cheaters marathon which was on all nite (LMAO), a good massage, and some 'just us' time. I do confess that Q-Tip really made me feel...dare I say it....special? Loved it!

Oh, yeah. For my look I went with a pale shimmery eye. I blended a very shimmery silver all over my lid(Bare Minerals in Celestine) with a dark gray I had in the crease & outer corner. Finished with the Givenchy mascara, just on the top lashes (loving it, by the way)

Came out like so:

Actually looks a lil like eye gloss. Lol Prob the flash.

So that's how I spent my 14th. Hope yours was all you wanted it to be!

O.I.Y.D. ♥

Yah, I'm going hyph with the posts cause my 2nd class was cancelled today. Muah! Lol.

But um, question of the day: is it bad that I got a new one? Well, not officially but he could be a prospect. It's still too soon to tell. But since it's only right, we shall name him Rico. Lmao as in Rico Suave. We always half-flirt when we see each other, cuz we run into each other all the time in my building. But purely innocent. We just happened to exchange numbers this weekend (bout time) and he ever-so-discreetly asked me out on a date. (My pay-back for not getting him a cinnabon when I went to the mall lol.) I admit he's a little cutie. And the 'Good Morning beautiful' text in my 1st class was refreshing as well. But lemme not jinx it. Tryna play my cardz right.

Random: The orange juice from Au Bon Pain is MAD GOOD! Lol.

Did you know the little paper sleeves the hash browns from McDonald's says 'Wakey Wakey' on them? Lol. Wat?

Y.K.Y.L.M. ♥

Feliz viernes, luvs!

February's here!!!!!

You know what that means.....14 dayz of Valentine's Day! Lmao

Okay, or not. Have yet to establish my valentine yet. But hoping it will be the current luv (Q-Tip). We'll see though. Also, PLEASE BELIEVE I WILL be concocting these lovely's:

Matter fact, just looking at them, I think I just might have to have a trial run tonight. (Doesn't help that I'm starving lol). I dont think I've made these in a minute either so.....it should be fun. Pics to follow!

Speaking of Q-Tip, we just started talking heavy and already we've hit a major speed bump. Primarily, dealing with him being a member of another org. and what that entails (gatness). But we've bounced back (twice now, I believe) so I guess that's a good thing. Still MAD early to tell. Doesn't hurt that he told me he was basically gonna stalk me anyway. Lol. A mess.

80's vs. 90's party was hot! Bestie got the pics. To be posted soon I'm sure. I need to start taking my own again lol. I just did a classic off-the-shoulder shirt which read "Radio Killed The Hip Hop Star", green beater underneath, jean mini, two-toned hot pink tights, black leg warmers and some black patent leather stilettos. Also for the makeup, I used this quad:

With the blue on the lower half of my lid, green on the upper & blend. Colorful. ;-)

I found a new music website ~ so excited! My former one disappeared off the internet a while back :-(. But yeah I'm LOVING IT. Feeling a tad hesitant to link it under 'Frequent Flyer Mileage' just cuz I'm feeling a little selfish at the moment. But hey - you might already got it actually. But maybe you don't >:-)

Last nite, while I was on my way to pick up Nii-Amon, this Lloyd & Weezy jawn came on on the radio and I loved it from the minute I heard it, which SERIOUSLY says a lot about a song cuz 9x out of 10 a song has to grow on me......and then I love it. hehe. But yeah, not sure how long it's been in rotation but here's a link:

The Things U Do

http://www.zshare.net/audio/52220486032ce495/

Muah!

A.I.W.I.E. ♥

So, I've been a little lacking in the blog category the past couple dayz. But that's because the last 2-3 have been extremely hectic.


First, well as you all know the lovely and wonderful man that is Barack Obama became Mr. President yesterday. So, my organization hosted an inaugural brunch (wish I had pics) for his swearing-in ceremony. My sisters and I were in charge of decorating the place. I never ever realized how much work this actually called for until, well until it was too late. Let's just say.....we were slaving over centerpieces, favors, balloons, programs for DAYZ. But hey, the end result was beautiful.

Also yesterday, my Spring semester started. I was actually in class when Obama became president. (WACK, I know. IMO, I don't see why classes weren't cancelled ANYWAY!!!! Lol) I had Syntax @ 11:30 then Spanish Lit @ 2:15....by the way did I mention my Spanish prof. is a Korean woman who was raised in Spain?? My life........ lol. But yeah, def. glad I went to my first one cuz *ish was intense AND we got homework. WTF? Um......books weren't bad this semester came to about $200 minus one little novel that NOBODY had. (Huh?) Was gonna use the extra to finish my tat but now.......not so much. Lol

Last night too, becuz of our efforts on the brunch, we also got invited to an Inaugural Gala over in Edison. Too bad I felt mad special to be in there. Muchas gracias to Ms. La Rue for the invite. Gov. Corzine was in the building as well but I couldn't catch him. It was fun tho. I never seen... like drunk, middle-aged people in suits and gowns dancing their a** off. (but can you say - "open bar"? You already know!). Lol Shhhhhh

So I ended up hittin up Time Check (been a while), D.V. & Q-Tip when I got back home last nite. Too bad when I woke up this morning I discovered only Q-Tip had replied. (HA!) Time Check's been hittin me up lately and idk why, esp. when I def make little efforts to talk back. Dudez....what goes through yall minds sometimes I really wonder. Lol.

But here's something else I wonder. .....yall might have figured by now that me & D.V. can't never really catch a break, for example. So, Follow Me: you have sometimes I don't get his texts, sometimes he don't get mines; Time Check hasn't replied to my texts the past couple nites but he'll text me during the day randomly; so far all 3 times me & Q-Tip tried to work something up it looks like it's gonna flop..........................................................is God just trying to tell me something??????? Like, maybe, just maybe all these dudes are wrong for me and the Lord above is trying to steer me away from them?

But on the other hand, the bestie says that if something's REALLY meant to be, it'll work itself out in the end, no matter how many times *ish goes south.

So what do you do?

I.H.T.B.Y. ♥ (It Had To Be You)

I find myself a little torn. Once, I told someone I like to be chased and in response he told me I like chasing guys I can't have. I don't think this is entirely true, cause if they were truly inaccessible, believe you me - I would quickly just give up. But I digress...

Lately, with tonight giving me my 3rd revelation, I've now come across 3 people who I never necessarily looked at that way before, but basically, they got a thing for your gurl. The first one is, ODDLY enough, one of the cuzzo's. Clearly we're not blood-related but I genuinely look at him as my cuz, so that's a bit.....yeah. A little while ago he told me that he had liked me but not so much in the past. He moreso found me attractive like over the summer and recently. I'm flattered, but CUZZO YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY CUZ! LIKE, WTH?!

The second one, for discretional purposes, we'll call Jefe (hef-ay)('boss' in Spanish). Now, me & Jefe have gotten real tight real fast. He's been like, the best guy friend I've ever had. Then, I could tell things slowly starting to change. After a few instances of flirting, one day he came out and told me how about his feelings towards me, which I kinda knew was coming, even though I didn't feel the same way, and in a way the guilt from that realization lingers in the back of my mind a little each day. Me & Jefe are still there for one another and hopefully will continue to be. But, I really can't see myself......seeing him like that. And I'm not even on no picky *ish with these young men. But, I can't force it or fake it.

The third to bare his soul is Q-Tip. (Lol, I know.) Q-Tip I've known since freshman year, through the roomie. We talked & chilled for a little while and then less my sophomore year. Honestly, I think he used to be cuter when we first met, but don't get me wrong he's not unattractive now either. But again, the main thing that stopped me from letting him go further was that bit of lack of chemistry between us. But we still flirted up until now, but the thing that complicates the situay is that *tentatively* he's a member of another frat., and the intermingling..... does NOT sit well with the siblings. (But only if they were to find out hehe). But what's making me think twice is the fact that his text was so...genuine. He basically told me how he liked me and always has and he likes being around me and how the thoughts that prob. cross a lot of dudes minds cross his too but we're grown.....so why not act? It may not sound like much but to me, I respect his outright honesty, esp. when I've faded him a little bit in the past. Lol So, who knows....

This situation blows my mind. Dudez that I barely double-take at outta the blue tell me they're infatuated. I admit, I notice their attractiveness, but I guess I'm too busy chasing after ungrateful nigga's (*cough* D.V. *cough*) to really notice or even care. So what do you do?

P.S. Sad news: Prof. Stromswold won't change my grade. *Tear* Another f'in semester. And my last shot at redemption. Now to tell the madre.......pray for me y'all.

D.Y.F.A.M. ♥ (Don't You Forget About Me)

Where to start, where to start.......I guess I'll go in chronological order.

-PRE-NYE:

Me & D.V. got into a verbal altercation on New Year's Eve. After an entire afternoon of fading I initiated a mini-spazzing session....which led to even more fading. >:-\ I swear if it's one thing that pisses me off, it's the pointless ignoring. SO f'in rude.

-NYE (Day)

In preparition for my little soiree up @ the Rock, me and my girl Steph drove up late afternoon, then had to make a few runs to the Rite Aid in Highland Park (hehe) and the grocery store. Bill came to about $74+. NEVER AGAIN! While I picked up a couple boxes of Jell-O, D.V. & I went back and forth about why he proceeded to ignore me, how rude he was, how rude I was and other petty *ish. We peaced it up right before I started mixing the shots, which was all I really wanted to accomplish before 2009 got here. Since then, he's been a little touchy and standoff-ish which makes me worry but we've spoken and have *tentative* plans so I'll hold my breath til then.

So, a few martini's and some Jell-O :-) later, the folks from Boro arrived. A few more than I expected, which inevitably grew to even more as the night went on. But all in all, the festivities were fun, with a few exceptions:

-Taboo was short lived. Ppl were haters. Lol

-'The Kiss', as predicted, never went down. However, I must admit I got an unexpected post-New Year's small one. :-D

-I got married! hehe.....see below

-Someone managed to knock over an entire pitcher of June Bug, and NOBODY, including me, saw.

-Some gat, UNINVITED chick, who was a friend of a friend I presume went HYPH from the minute she started drinking til the minute she left the following morning; which included her sticking her finger in some dude's mouth she did not know, pulling on his dreds & telling him he liked it rough, spazzing on us when she missed the Ball drop, 'crying' when we tried to refuse her anymore shots, randomly quoting "Look Back At Me" by Trina, and telling me I was cute & then proceeding to slap the mess outta my a$$. :-O

-Not to mention my cuz and my big bro almost got into physical altercation with the LB and Brothers, but that's water under the bridge.

So, the REAL hubby (by real I mean, the one I've had for some time now, but he's just a place-holder til the real-life one comes along lol) is having a concert the end of this month, which the bestie told me about and we're going! It'll be the first concert of his I've ever been to and I can't wait. Tix were a grip truthfully, but hopefully it'll be worth it. Til the 31st, I'll just hold this:

My day could not have been anymore trying. After not falling asleep til after 2am, I woke at 7:30 (on my winter break, no less) only to find that my monthly came to visit for bout a week. :-S Only reason I woke up that early to begin with is because one of the cuzzo's asked me to ride down with her to B-more today. Her and her hubby are finally tryna sell their townhouse and they met with this "realtor" to list it. So, me and my oh-so-caring self of course said 'sure!... sounds like fun'. *blank stare* Wtf was I thinking?? Well...... it would've been absolutely fine actually if it didn't turn into a 12-hour fiasco with her 2 ADORABLE daughters having a screaming contest for the latter part. My cuz couldn't have put it better herself: spending just ONE DAY with me is the perfect form of birth control. Seriously, if never before, I def. am gonna hold off on the kiddies for a few MORE years than I was originally planning (about 5-6-7 years from now). And if I'm blessed with girls????? :-O Lol.

The New Year's soiree still looks like it's going down. On deck is picking out the *ahem* Jell-O for the nite and the beverages. THIS JUST IN: Taboo and ROCK BAND added to the program! As the fabulous hostess I'm hoping toturn out to be, I'm just aiming to avoid the drunken gatness that could be my invites, while still being as photogenic as possible since I'm sure Mulan will be flick-flickin' it up in full effect. (I knew you'd like that one April). Chances of 'The Kiss' happening is starting to slim down drastically. But you never know - esp. with MY luck.

In the boo-ski category, still find myself thinking about D.V. The ex-prospect 'Time Check' called me today, which caught me by surprise. He asked me for a favor, tryna contact his unavailable LB. And asked when I'd be returning to the Roc (my apt. building). When I replied New Year's Eve he responded 'oh so I'll be seeing you soon then', with that whole can-you-tell-I'm-smiling-on-the-other-end-of-the-phone tone in his voice. Small talk or genuine? We'll see. But can somebody answer me this? With my thoughts..and late-nite thoughts always trailing to D.V., a lot of times I have to fight not to pick up my Blackjack 2 and text him, just cuz he ain't text me first. I mean yeah, he hits me up but I always feel like I hit him up more. I know he thinks about me and whenever I do initiate the convo the feelings feel more than reciprocated but....... why do I sometimes feel this urge to play hard to get? Tryna hold out til the homeboy texts my 609 instead of me hittin his? Hey, if it pays off I'm all for it but

Will it?

N.D.I.B. ♥ (Nobody Does It Better)

My sweet life? More like my never-a-dull-moment life, good and bad. Rite now I'm still awaiting an email back from my far-from-favorite Psych professor about my "D"isappointing final grade. I really need that changed or else.....academic career is about to be in the basement. To help alleviate the pain, I indulged in one of my top 3 guilty pleasures: SHOPPING! (sidebar: Xmas was wonderful. Got pretty much everything I asked for plus more - perks of being an only child ;-p) Anywayz, I picked up a nice liquid foundation from Sephora

an eyeshadow primer by Too Faced

and the Lash Injection mascara as well.

I know, I know the names are a little extreme. A lot of my friendz, particularly my guy friendz, particularly "D.V." claim they honestly don't notice my makeup looks - I guess that means I'm a natural beauty! Haha jk.

SB: D.V. has been "in" my life for about 9 months now. Throughout my rendezvous with my males he always seems to be right there whenever my loves take a turn for the worse. He does have his oh-so-difficult moments: not hitting me up for dayz, getting piss drunk then hitting me up late night, fading rite in the middle of a convo, but when we're straight ~we're STRAIGHT. On a good day, he's just my little shawty wit a cute smile and a cuter way wit words. Lawd help us. Lol

So........New Year's Eve is in 5 days and as corny as it sounds, I want a New Year's kiss. Lol I never had one before and I think it'd be kinda cute. Not to mention what it could lead to.......... a goodnite hug! You and your dirty minds! Lol.
*Sigh* 2 more hours and 45 min. left of me sitting at this duty desk. Taco Bell on deck (on my fat-fat ish). Hopefully my nite will end well.

A.I.W.I.E ♥ (All I Want Is Everything)